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The value isn’t in the outcome; it’s in the experience, like anything in life. That’s always a gift, no matter how short-lived, as long as your intentions are good, and you are open to learning and growing. People get scared, and scared people always punch first. Yes, we have types and preferences, and we’re attracted to what we’re attracted to. That’s why dating has become scary and dreadful: People are horrible to each other if things don’t work out. If they don’t treat you well in the beginning, you shouldn’t even consider them. And maybe we needed that specific experience to shift our thinking or learn something about ourselves — what we want or don’t want, or we just needed it without any reason. We’ve all been hurt, rejected, ignored, and ghosted.
Real Online Therapy Trusted advice, guidance, and counseling for depression, relationships, health, mental illnesses, and more.24/7 Access Do it at your own time and at your own pace.If I could do anything over, it would be to just relax and view every date as an opportunity for friendship and just to get to know someone new, and to trust my deepest instincts about what felt right to me.I would have tried to date many people without worrying about the pressure to find someone. As long as your intentions are in the right place and you’re communicating, no one is getting used, or hurt. And trust that one of them will turn into something more. That’s not selfish; it’s the only way to look at it, so it’s an enjoyable, meaningful, life-changing experience. I just ended a relationship with my long term beau right before Thanksgiving and now I'm feeling like "is there anyone out there for me? I help people get through their challenges but struggle to get through some of my own. And that’s what I think we should put the weight on — . If not, dating can harden you, and discourage you, because people . It is a choice to see dating as growth soil instead of a battlefield. Just because it wasn’t meant to be, doesn’t mean it wasn’t meaning. When you seek someone’s soul, you’re getting a more accurate picture of who they really are, and then it’s easier to be kind if things don’t work out. Remember, it’s the little things: Are they considerate? One can argue: I don’t see it that way, because if you feel used, there is pain there. Keep your heart open and continue to collide, knowing that there's learning and growth in each collision.